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October 15, 2007

# 16 DISLIKE #
Myojo 2007.10

Everyone has things they like. This may be food, flowers or music, or lovers. To each its own. There are as many favourite things as there are people. But the opposite is also true, everyone has things they dislike. In this, as well, to each its own. There are as many disliked things as there are people.

Following this, it applies to me too. For example, on location or during photo shoots, I'm often asked about food I dislike. At these times, I always answer: "I can't eat pumpkin, or red bean paste, sweet and thick things like sweet potatoes and the like." I really hate them, it's true that I think, "why are they so thick when they are sweet!?" [Note: "thick" like "thick soup"], but it's also true that there are some things I am set to complain about because I was asked the question too often. As for the other members, Koyama will always answer, "Tomatoes.", while Massu will say, "I don't like insects and birds, basically all living beings except for humans!" I expect it's the same for the other members. And I have the feeling that everytime I answer, I start hating pumpkin and red bean paste anew. If I should talk about my likes and dislikes apart from food, basically I don't like to watch any films but Japanese ones. It's extreme, but I rarely watch western films which seem so explosive, I end up feeling that they are less movies and more attractions than anything else. Even among Japanese movies, I especially like movies which seem a bit lackluster, where the plot moves along with a slow speed. Ever since I noticed this, I started watching even more exclusively Japanese movies. But in a way, this is like auto-suggestion. Do I really dislike pumpkin? Do I really dislike red bean paste? Do I really dislike watching western movies? Isn't it so that I just randomly decide what to add to my dislikes? Creating these dislikes, what's the point to that, I wonder. If you're doing it at all, convince yourself so that you become able to like the things you dislike, and like the things you like even more. If you do this, you'll be able to live surrounded by things you like. Wouldn't this be a very happy life?

I actually think that this is possible. Imagine there's a girl you like a bit, but don't really love, but to your friends you lightly say, "That girl, I really like her~". When you repeat this again and again, even though you only liked her a bit in the beginning, before you know it you'll end up loving her... I think there are people who experienced this.

Be it things you like or be it things you dislike, if you taste them even if you don't think you like them, you'll slowly be able to realize what you really think of them, and if you put your thoughts into words, these thoughts and feelings will become even stronger. Auto-suggestion. In a way, it's scary. But well, since it's still only suggestion, there's a limit to it. If you really dislike something, you dislike it, I guess. Massu won't forever be able to live together with any other living beings but humans, I guess. The auto-suggestion which I find scary isn't that, it's "hating without trying". Disliking something without tasting it, disliking something without giving it a look, disliking something without trying to do it. Isn't this auto-suggestion, just based on an idea you have of something? There's the thing of eating something you used to dislike and now realizing you like it. This may have to do with growing up, too, but it might also be that from the beginning, you didn't dislike the thing as much as you thought you did.

Until now, I shaped the world to my idea of it, and then I realized I could only live in a small, small place. Even though being twenty years old is something that people call being adult. What a waste, isn't it. From now on I will return to the state of a baby who doesn't know anything, and absorb various things, I feel that this way for the first time I will be able to really grow up. I'll turn away from things like useless auto-suggestion, and if I manage to live staying true to myself, without a doubt this will be pure happiness.

So, should I watch a Hollywood movie while eating red bean paste?

Translated by riccichan

* Do not repost/retranslate w/o permission *

Labels: ,

by Ran @ 8:56 PM  
  • At December 2, 2011 at 4:22 PM, Blogger s said…

    Thank you, Ran, for sharing your thoughts with us and thank you, Riccichan for translating them so beautifully.
    These insightful and careful essays often strike a chord with me and inspire me. There is a lot of thought, honesty and positivity that goes into them, and that always makes them a pleasure to read. So please continue to write them as your efforts are appreciated! Thank you...

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